Funny Wombat

On the way to track-out camp today we saw a man walking a very small fluffy grey dog. Wombat saw them and immediately yelled out "Look! Lint on a leash!"

Olde Time Wombat

The Wombat has been studying "100 years ago" in school.

Me: So would you like to live 100 years ago?
Wombat: No way! Have you seen their Mickey Mouse? He was really creepy looking!

Innocent Wombat

Wombat: Look! I drew a picture of our dream house for if we win like $300 in the lottery or something. See here's the water slide, and here are our beds! One for me, one for you, and one for Mommy

Robert: Oh so Mommy and Daddy wouldn't sleep in the same bed any more?

Wombat: Yes. *sadly* I know we can't afford two beds right now so that's why you just share one big bed.

Wombat Incorporated

We'd done a baking project in the kitchen and Wombat's "station" was quite messy!

Me: Wow! You made a mess!
Wombat: *with pride* Yup. Mess provided by Sarah....Incorporated.

Defeated Wombat

Me: Wombat, please clean up the cat throw-up in the hallway.

Wombat: Whyyyyy??? You saw it first!

Me: I'm making you a pannini for lunch.

Wombat: *glares* You win THIS time.....

Right Wombat

Today I went grocery shopping and asked her if she wanted cantaloupe or cherries. She said "Daddy doesn't like cherries" so I got the cantaloupe. Tonight the following conversation ensued:

Robert: Why did you tell Mommy I don't like cherries?
Wombat: Well, maybe you can be right next time?

Direct Wombat

After Wombat's shower last night she was discussing shampoo and conditioner with Robert:

Wombat: I like the clean scents. What do you like?
Robert: Well my shampoo smells like rosemary and mint and my conditioner smells like almond butter. I like that combination.
Wombat: Do you think you'll ever try the stuff made for men?

Secret Wombat

At lunch yesterday my daughter was drinking fruit juice.

Me: Did you know that juice has a serving of fruit and vegetables?
Wombat: *turns around box* I kind of guessed by the carrots on the front *taps picture*
....

Wombat: *narrows eyes* What other secrets are you keeping from me?

Taste of the Wombat

I had finished preparing dinner and snagged one of the popcorn shrimp I had made for the Wombat.

Wombat: Hey!
Me: I was just testing the temperature *eep*
Wombat: *sudden surge of realization* How about testing my vegetables? Really! It's OK!
Me: Nice try

Clean Wombat

Wombat: Look Mommy! I got a cut right here! *shows tiny cut on finger*
Me: Ohhh, do you need me to give it a kiss?
Wombat: Um well, no. It's gotten enough gunk in it.

Spot on Wombat

Robert wrapped up showing a "My Little Pony" video on YouTube to the Wombat.

Robert: Oh well. It's over. *changes screens* and ...now it's gone forever!

Wombat: Argh! *starts mussing his hair vigorously with both hands* I'm going to give you ANOTHER bald spot!

A Wombat Story about a Cat

This is a story the Wombat wrote in school. I have edited it for spelling but the content is the same:

"Once there was a cat named Freya.
She was the best cat ever.
She loves to play with her toy mice.
She liked cat kibble but now doesn't.
One day she turned evil. Nobody knew how it happened too.
She ate a cat building and ate all the cat clothing.
She was never heard of again too.
She liked mice but she died."

Censored Wombat

Wombat: Is it OK for me ever to say the F word?
Me: What??? No! Never say that.
Robert: And if you do say that you will get in trouble with me and then with Mommy
Wombat: But sometimes it's OK to say at the doctor.
*Robert and I look at each other*
Me: Wait..what do you think the F word IS?
Wombat: *blushes* "Frow up?"
*Robert and I burst into laughter*
Me: THROW up is not the F word, and you are allowed to say that at appropriate times.
Robert: Oh no, now we've opened up a whole can of worms...

Timekeeper Wombat

Wombat was sick Friday night but was bright eyed and bushy tailed by Sunday. This morning on the way to track-out camp...

Wombat: So I had a 24 hour bug which is the same as a 1 day bug because there are 24 hours in a day right?
Me: Yes. And how many minutes in an hour?
Wombat: Um...60?
Me: Right! And do you know how many seconds in a minute?
Wombat: Also 60! ....Except for our clock which is slow.

Happy Wombat

Wombat: *points at me* It's your fault that I'm happy!

Bieber Wombat

While driving the Wombat to school:

Wombat: Mommy, all the girls in my class have a crush on Justin Bieber
Me: Really? Do you?
Wombat: Well...no.
Me: I didn't know first graders even knew what a crush is! Do you know what a crush is?
Wombat: Mommmmm *huffs and gives off a vibe of general embarrassment*
Me: Geez. Sorry!
Wombat: Trinity really loves him. She dresses like a small teenager. Trinity missed a whole day of school to go to a Justin Bieber concert!
Me: Wow!
Wombat: I would never do that! School is more important than concerts. Even Justin Bieber concerts.
Me: *resists the urge to hug my daughter since I am driving a vehicle at 45mph* That is very responsible of you.
Wombat: I know. I'm weird.
Me: I love you.
Wombat: I love you too, Mommy.

Stylista Wombat

Wombat changes into pajamas after a shower. She emerges wearing:

Pink fuzzy slippers
Black knee high socks with ruffled cuffs
Pale blue capri length leggings with little purple flowers on them
An oversized bright red t-shirt

and..

A pink fuzzy bathrobe.

Me: You look...
Wombat: ..fashionable?

Secretive Wombat

In the car the other morning:

Me: So what do you have today?
Wombat: I have art! I want to use those things that are like crayons but they break easier.
Me: What?
Wombat: You know - they are like crayons. But they break. A lot.
Me: *thinks back to art classes* Oil pastels?
Wombat: Yeah!
Me: Oh neat, you are using oil pastels? What did you draw?
Wombat: *sighs* I don't want to talk about it.
Me: Come on, tell me please!
Wombat: Never!
Me: Please? I want to know
Wombat: Oh, look, isn't that tree pretty?
Me: *grumbles* I'll see it in your folder at the end of the week anyway
Wombat: Joke's on you! They hung them up in the hallway at school!

Weather Wombat

This morning the fog was extremely thick and although eerily beautiful it did garner some questions from the Wombat:

Wombat: Why is there fog?
Me: It has to do with changing temperatures I think. It's water vapor. Basically it's a cloud on the ground.
Wombat: Silly cloud, don't be lazy! Get in the sky where you belong!

Financial Planner Wombat

Wombat: I wish the cats throw up 1 million dollars every day so we could be rich!